she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
