If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She told me I should be a condom model.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
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