He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
