Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he puts the penis in happiness.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
