Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
