so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize