let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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