how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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