be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize