I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
