Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
