okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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