We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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