Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just had sex on a roof
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
