We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
