He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
