She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize