No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
