wakey wakey hands off snakey
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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