Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
