Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
