He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
