Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
