"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
