What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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