Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
