Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Randomize
