So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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