3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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