pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
