I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
