i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
