I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize