I think i peed on brittanys purse
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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