Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
