Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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