real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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