sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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