I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
