Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
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Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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