Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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