No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
