This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
There's a naked man in my car right now.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize