whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
