so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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