this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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