A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
