I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
