If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
a search helicopter?!
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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