I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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