is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
