I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
