She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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