Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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