I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.