If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.