Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?

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(801): View more from Utah

The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance

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(415): View more from California

He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.

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(516): View more from New York

is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(325): View more from Texas

I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.

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(650): View more from California

i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it

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