you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
