didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
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