fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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