vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
