Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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