Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
