they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
